I don’t wish to share my real name publicly, but I want to tell my story because I believe women need to be heard in the debate about Ireland’s three-day waiting period for abortion.
I am a mother. My daughter is four years old, and I thank God for her every single day.
When I became pregnant with my second child, I was not in a good place mentally. When my first child was born I had suffered very badly with postnatal depression.
Afterwards, life had settled and I was back at work. I was in a long-term relationship and everything in our lives was stable.
But then I discovered I was pregnant again, and I panicked. I instantly made a decision to have an abortion.
I was terrified that I would suffer depression again. I was also under financial pressure, suffering badly with nausea and overwhelmed by the situation. I wasn’t thinking clearly and I contacted the Well Woman Centre.
I spoke to someone on the telephone and she told me to go to the women’s health clinic to collect an envelope.
I went there and collected a brown envelope from reception. I did not meet a doctor or nurse. I was simply told that everything I needed was inside.
I remember thinking how strange it felt. It was essentially: This is what you want. Here are the pills.
I was around eight weeks pregnant and suffering badly with hyperemesis.
Without really thinking about it I took the first pill that evening.
Then I panicked.
Almost immediately, I began to question what I was doing. I was suddenly completely unsure that I wanted to go ahead. I was in a state of utter panic and I started googling to see if there was anything I could do to stop it and I read about progesterone.
I went to the maternity hospital and told them what had happened.
I had changed my mind.
I did not want to take the second medication.
A nurse there told me not to take it but that I had to go home and wait to see if my baby would survive. I spent the next few days at home deeply regretting my decision and praying that it would be ok. I was bleeding and I was in a state of deep mental anguish.
On the Monday, I returned to the maternity hospital and was seen urgently in the gynaecology clinic. The scan found my baby was alive – I don’t know how after I had been bleeding and everything that had happened, but everything was fine. At my request a doctor prescribed progesterone and the hospital continued to look after me and monitor my pregnancy.
My daughter was alive and she was born healthy seven months later. .
She is now four years old.
During those days, however, I was repeatedly contacted by the abortion provider and encouraged to take the second medication. I was extremely distressed and hormonal, and I remember being told things that caused me enormous upset, including that I had already “half killed” the baby and that I could die of infection if I didn’t take the second pill.
I also contacted My Options but they only directed me towards taking the second medication as well.
I was a woman in crisis who initially believed that abortion was the answer. I had already taken the first medication. But before taking the second, I changed my mind.
I changed my mind.
That is why I believe the three-day period matters. In fact, I think women need more than three days.
There are so many factors to consider. People don’t talk enough about the effect of pregnancy hormones on making a big decision which can make the initial overwhelm feel worse.
And it’s such a vulnerable time. I just needed someone to listen to me and help me to envision a path forward, and offer some support. My Options never offered me any options at all, they just told me what to do.
I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t found out about progesterone and finally got the help I needed on that Monday. What I do know is that my daughter is here today because I did not take that second medication.
She is four years old. She is loved beyond words. And I thank God for her every day. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
I am very concerned about politicians pushing for the waiting period to be removed. I wish they would listen to women like me – women who were frightened, vulnerable and uncertain, and who changed their minds.
Before changing a law that can affect the course of a woman’s entire life, surely it is worth listening to the women whose lives have actually been affected directly by their policies.
I am one of those women.
