I don’t wish to share my real name publicly, but I want to tell my story because I believe women deserve the time and information they need to make a truly informed decision about abortion.
Three years ago, I almost had an abortion.
Today, I cannot imagine my life without my daughter.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was in my early twenties and taking a break from college. It came as a shock and I was unsure what to do. I went to my GP as I felt that I needed more information and she confirmed my pregnancy.
Because I understood that I needed an ultrasound to establish how far along I was, I arranged and paid for a private ultrasound myself. I was around seven weeks pregnant.
I told my family about the pregnancy and they told me they would support me in whatever decision I made. I called My Options and asked them what my options were but they only spoke to me about abortion and nothing else. I went through the process of arranging the abortion and attended the appointment with the doctor they directed me towards. I was told how to take the medication.
But I don’t feel that I was given the information or counselling I needed to properly consider the decision. The pills seemed to be offered very easily, despite the fact that I was making a decision that would affect the rest of my life.
The doctor told me that I had to wait three days before I could take the first pills.
At the time, I accepted that. I fully expected to go ahead.
But those three days gave me time to think.
I didn’t talk about it much over those few days but I thought about the pregnancy, about what I was about to do and about what my life would look like afterwards.
Then, just half an hour before I was due to go to the appointment to take the first pills, I changed my mind. I cancelled the appointment and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
I can’t even fully explain what made me change my mind. I just knew that I couldn’t go through with it. And it was the best decision I have ever made.
My daughter, Eabha* is nearly three years old now.
I genuinely cannot imagine my life without her.
When I look back, I know that if I had not had those three days, I would have gone through with the abortion. I had already made the arrangements. The doctor had the medication ready. I was expecting to take it.
The three days gave me something I desperately needed: time.
Time to think beyond the immediate situation.
Time to question whether this was really what I wanted.
Time to make a decision that I could live with for the rest of my life.
I also believe women need much more information when they are considering an abortion. My experience was that the abortion was presented as a very simple and routine solution. I don’t feel I was given enough information about what actually happens during an abortion, or enough space to consider how I might feel about the decision afterwards.
This isn’t about judging women who choose abortion. I voted yes in the 2018 referendum. It is about making sure that women who are uncertain have the opportunity to make an informed decision. I was uncertain.
And I changed my mind.
If the three-day waiting period had not existed, I know I would have gone ahead.
My daughter would not be here.
I am so grateful that I had those three days to stop, think and ultimately change my mind.
For me, three days changed the course of my entire life.
